The Sad Truth….

Last week I stayed at the Hilton Hotel in Downtown Fort Worth, Texas and I had already had gotten ready for bed when I received a phone call from someone that has not spoken to me in about four years. This person was a near and dear person to me one might even say that I had strong feelings for this person. So, being caught off guard by a random phone call late at night in this situation put me in a happy but regretful frame of mind. After all it had been four years since this person had been in my life and in those four years not one word was spoken between us. I guess that it should be noted that this particular person and I met when I first moved away to College. I was 19 and not sure of who I was at that time and this person showed me who I was. He was sweet and caring and took care of me when I was sick and we liked spending time with each other. One might say that I was like Carrie off of Sex and the City and he was my Mr. Big. Well we both moved and when we got in touch with each other again he was dating a friend of mine. Well I did not care , but as usual stupid drama went down and it ruined two good friendships. Two friendships to this day I still treasure with all of my heart. I did nothing wrong , but I was blamed and no matter what I said it was my fault. So, I just walked away. Never in a million years did I expect to hear from one of the friends but I did. I was then told how the Wichita Falls Dawson was missed and that I played so hard to get and that I could not accept affection and I would not let this person touch me or hug me or get close to me. That broke my heart. I did not know what else to do , but cry and I did as soon as I got off of the phone because I love this person. How hard is it to hear those words from someone that you will always love? Time will tell for those words are in my head just repeating themselves like a broken record. I know it will never be and it is not in the cards. I had my chance. I just needed closure and to vent these events to someone other than myself. I guess sometimes you have to break your own heart to move on with your life. Perhaps it is better that way. But, I do have feelings and I do feel love and I can accept affection. But, when your dating someone else do you honestly think I am going to be the other person in the relationship. No. I feel that my actions are justified. I am not that kind of person. I never have been and never will be. Oh, did that one little fact slip out of your mind dear friend?? I think it is best we just stay friends. You know what they say…..

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